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Client Blog: Whit’s Fur Ye’ll No Go By Ye

Updated: Feb 5

One of my favourite Scottish expressions is “Whit’s Fur Ye’ll No Go By Ye” – basically meaning “What’s for you will not go by you”. In other words, if Fate, Providence, God (or whatever you believe in) intends you to have something, you will get it.


It’s about giving up the stresses of those things out of your control because you have no way to alter them. But the important part of this is actually knowing what it is you are looking for in the first place- having a clear road ahead but being able to adjust if things don’t go the way you expected.


Like so many others, I had a bit of a “crisis of confidence” over the last 6 months. Because of the pandemic, the job I had been doing, which was very much face to face, had moved entirely online. On top of that, my sons had left to go to uni, so there was a bit of “empty nest syndrome” thrown in, and for good measure, my husband and were talking of retiring in the next few years. I was at a crossroads and wasn’t really sure what to do next. I felt under-confident, aimless and overwhelmed.


By pure chance (or perhaps a bit of “Whit’s Fur Ye”) Matt Middler messaged me to catch up. We know each other through Chartered Institute of Fundraising, having both volunteered/attended their various functions. Matt had acquired his coaching qualifications but was really just reaching out for a catch up. We scheduled a date in the diary, and I didn’t think much further into it. By the end of our conversation however, I knew I’d found the solution to my issue of “What’s Next?”


This was the first time I had undertaken coaching, and Matt was great at explaining the process, and over that first session we set out a plan. He was great at asking me those tough questions, and at the same time, giving me the space and time to think and talk through my “niggles” blocking my way forward.


Most useful to me was reviewing my values. I discovered what had real meaning to me at this stage of my life. Over each of our sessions, I found it helpful to realign my thoughts to those values. Matt also helped me to experiment with different ideas: to be curious in my behaviours, thinking and experiences.


I’m pleased to say that my renewed confidence and clearer focus on my values aided me in landing a job that I feel suits me to the ground. But more than that, if it doesn’t work out, I know that I’ve got the tools to find a new path.


Are you unsure of your “Whit’s Fur Ye?” I have no hesitation in recommending Matt to help you find your way.


Pam Shaw

Community Development Officer, Lochwinnoch Community Development Trust


Get in touch with Matt Middler Coaching today to experience the transformational power of coaching.



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